Wednesday, January 25, 2017

WE CELEBRATE EVERY WOMAN WHO EVER HAD TO ENDURE A HARD MARRIAGE!

Today, I celebrate my mom!
I celebrate all mothers!
I celebrate every wife!
I celebrate every growing girl!
I especially celebrate every woman who has endured marriage solely to protect herself, her children or her self image and the image of her family. 
I particularly celebrate women who have been battered and abused in their marriages at one point to another.
A moment of silence to the departed souls of women who died enduring a difficult marriage.

Many women continue to dive into marriage without sufficient understanding of what it really means. We are told that divorce rate continues to shoot up in the 21st century because women are liberated. Pause for a quick second! Is it really the liberation of women??


Let me try to show us a different angle. There is a big gap of marriage modeling between my mom's generation and mine because:
  • Women are/were not happy in their marriages. 
  • Women endured for all the wrong reasons.
  • Divorced women do not feel the need to help highlight or teach their wrongs (what they could have done better).
  • Single Parents (women) who were wronged become too embittered to find love or try again.
  • Battered and abused women will almost likely without the help of God fall victim of the same incidence and continue in that cycle of abuse.
  • Women who impatiently got married solely to avoid being part of status quo (most especially the age factor) would have made a dangerous choice.
  • Women are/were not submissive in their marriages. Women are smart, intelligent, Godly, geniuses, but not submissive. Submission is what makes marriage, marriage. You could choose to be single and never have to submit to a husband.
These are some of the problems I came up with on my own, having had to experience a bad relationship once. It is easier to make comparisons now because I know what I did differently to now be experiencing a solid marriage.

‘He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness,’ wrote Alexandre Dumas

My call is to all women to put on their counseling hats and help teach my generation not to make some of the mistakes they made. And if you did it right, you still need to counsel women about good marriages. If you have known pain, then you will know the difference when you find  happiness.

Marriage is sweet with: 
  • A Godly man! You will only need to cry yourself to sleep and wait for him to come home if he has no fear of God. A Godly man will love you. "Nuff Said." This is not a myth ladies. It is true! I compare for real.
  • A submissive wife! I learned this past Sunday from my Pastor and Mentor that if there is a PhD I must have, it better be a PhD in submission. Many women carry their titles into their homes, into their bedroom and forget what the word wife means. 
What then is Submission?? 
It is not slavery!
It is not subjugation!


“And let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]."

Ephesians 5:33b AMPC

We are often carried away by what we want, forgetting that the men also need all those twelve things highlighted above.
If a woman is ready to get married, she must also check that she is ready to do these things above without worrying about what the man should be giving her.

My blog is to single women out there today! You don't have to endure a hard marriage ever, if you take the proper steps today. Ask your mom the hard questions. Take that step and ask her if she is/was truly happy. If she is/was indeed, you need her recipe, if she is/was not, you still need the recipe, so you don't make the same mistake.
Never assume you understand what marriage is without proper counseling and great models to help you every step of the way as you build a Godly home. 
These realities have helped me tremendously through my single motherhood and my new marriage. I am a happy well grounded woman learning to continually submit to my King every step of the way. 
Also understand, because there is no master of Love, there is no master of submission. We all just try and where we fail, God fills the gap and holds the marriage. That is the difference between a Godly marriage and one that has no God has the foundation.

You get to make the choice today! 

Live, Love, Laugh
Kaylove.
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Saturday, January 21, 2017

NAME OR FAME?? MASTER YOUR PRISON!



Happy weekend readers!! How are y'all doing this peaceful Saturday? We have a new President now? Hmm... How does that feel huh 😊😉?? Well, this weekend's edition is pretty interesting, so let's go!

In the Bible, there is a touching story of a teenage boy who was loved dearly by his father who made him a coat of many colors. He was envied because he was preferred, was even envied and hated the more because of a glimpse of his future.
Fast forward to his near death experience that eventually landed him in prison, far, far away from home. He also found favor and was preferred even in the prison.

The story of this young man, Joseph, helps me build a logic about life's purpose. We might sometimes wonder why we are not liked by most. In fact, the hatred and envy might come from people cordial with us, just like Joseph and his brothers, and you know that breaks the heart, but it's all for the prison process. Your purpose is more important than seeking to be accepted by all. You would have spent too much time pleasing people or seeking their approval before getting on track with purpose.

In life, there are character building or pruning processes, the prison before the Name. What we have nowadays are fame chasers with little or no character to sanction it. What we have in our generation is the manifestation of gifts with lesser virtues. Character building is as important as building a Name. Your Name is at stake, when your character fails.

"5-9 So don’t lose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others. With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow under your feet, no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus. Without these qualities you can’t see what’s right before you, oblivious that your old sinful life has been wiped off the books."


The prison represents where all your character flaws should be dumped and refined. For Joseph, he learned how to keep quiet and listen. As a boy, he did not know how to discern who to share his dreams with. He learned how to depend totally on God to use his gifts. He understood God's purpose and mastered forgiveness for the folks who had let him down and betrayed him. Perhaps, you have been sharing your dreams with the wrong people, it is time to reshuffle and be discerning.

Most times, folks are too caught up in the prison process that they seldom see or know the point. They see it as punishment rather than a character development process. You have to embrace your prison time in order to be ready for glory. In fact, the greater the vision, the longer the process sometimes. The quicker you yield and understand the purpose, the better your prison time. The longer your process, the longer your reign in glory. The longer the process, the better the character. The better your character, the safer your good Name.

It is safe to say, there are some people reading right now, waiting for their get out of jail free card. I want to encourage you to embrace your prison process as much as you can. You know why? Because prison or not, God is with you all the way refining your character, building you to stand. Joseph was one of the men with great success in the Bible. He took time to learn what God was teaching him. Please do not cut corners and expect to have success. We have to remain humble and learn all the way. There are many people already failing at building a good Name.

You and I are writing stories in history with our Name or Fame. There are Names that when mentioned today, you immediately run up to ten lists of things they did or could have done better. There are also people who never wrote history, whose stories you will never hear about. Who never had a Name or Fame. I already know who I am and I hope you do friend. 

Major things to avoid during the process. These things will slow you down or prevent you from seeing the other side of the coin basically.
  • Do not MURMUR (grumbling or complaining does not mix well with God) 
  • Do not become IMPURE (flee from temptation. 
  • Do not COMPARE (focus on your journey, it is your journey, not mine)


Live, Love, Laugh

Kaylove.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

"WCW" -- A/n O.D.D. (Officially Different Diva)~FLOTUS MICHELLE OBAMA

Welcome to this edition of We Celebrate Women(WCW)!
A big warm cheers to FLOTUS on her birthday this month!



As a woman it is very important to discover who you are in life before what I call "Lights, Camera, Action". 
A young Michelle who grew up with her family in the South side of Chicago did not see the Lights, Camera and Action coming. Her parents did not even know they were raising a FLOTUS! Little did they all know. Little would you know...

Knowing who you are should be a plus to your spouse, not a liability.
Being different by chasing after your purpose and the mark you want to make is what attracts you to a man and to the world.
First Lady Michelle Obama is one of such, who found herself in this world doing what she knows how to do best. Being smart. It was while she was busy being smart with grace that the very first African American president in history of the United States found her. I doubt he would have noticed her if she blended so easily into the crowd.
Smart, passion, difference makes you stand out in the crowd.
Perhaps you are trying so hard to chase after getting married before finding out who you are. Now is the time to place your priorities right. Maybe you are already married and you don't know what your purpose is yet, don't worry, I think you still can figure out what makes you O.D.D.


Most people fight to fit in.
In fact when you do things differently, the natural instinct to be accepted kicks in.
The human nature and emotion cannot handle the adrenaline rush of being rejected.
It takes a different die-hard grace to waltz around the world like you own it.
As women, we crave attention naturally, we die to be listened to, to be heard. Our egos are naturally caressed when we are being paid attention. And oh for the love of 'Like Buttons' on social media in this generation. We have what I call shallow minded role models. Fame without substance. We are living in times when a woman thinks it is ok to advertise her nudity and thinks she is unique because she receives attention for it. Hence, misleading many young girls to believe that is the only acceptable way.

Michelle Obama, is not only smart but graceful. She makes the woman with melanin respect her difference and also treats the woman's body like the temple it is, to be adored. Not displayed for dogs to wag their tongues at, and tails after.
It takes a different kind of resilience to be content even when you're not being noticed for the work you do.
Michelle's style was different with the right attitude. Today and forever, she will be celebrated as the first black female president in America.
That is the kind of classy mark any woman should aim for. Christian or not.


Are you currently doing something different than the norm. Let me tell you! You are O.D.D! You are a creator! That is what makes you stand out. 
Standing up for Jesus already makes you unique in this world and if you manage to stick with it, perhaps you'd be noticed, perhaps you wouldn't, but who cares. Be so wrapped up in your indifference that even God would have to give you a standing ovation. 
Forget about the crowd's cheers! Forget about the compliments. If they come, great, if they don't, never be discouraged. Just keep being O.D.D!

A Standing Ovation for my First Lady Michelle Obama. You are my WCW always. 
Thank you for making women hope and dream again. Thank you for supporting your husband's dream and staying true to yours. Thank you for not changing who you are and what you stand for. It takes a strong hearted woman to wear the crown you wear. 


We Celebrate You!!!



Live, Love, Laugh

Kaylove. 

Saturday, January 14, 2017

ARE YOU A LIBERAL?


During my personal devotion, I was reading about Sodom and Gomorrah and how the city got destroyed because of their severe sin.
I do not think it is coincidental that at the same time, Kim Burrell is receiving a backlash about her speech to her congregation about sin(most especially homosexuality).
We cannot love liberalism and continue to practice sin. The continuous practice and tolerance of sin would suggest the denial of God's authority. However, allow me to point out few things from my study.

  • Constant aggravated sin does cry out to God (Gen. 19:20-21)
  • The people were so evil that God had to come down to see for Himself before destroying them. 
  • God had mercy on Lot and his family because of Abraham's personal supplication.
  • Lot's wife melted away along with the Sodomites because of a simple act of disobedience. 


I think christians are always riled up about homosexuality because it was the sin illustrated in the Bible that the Sodomites supposedly practiced that incurred an outright destruction by God. Imagine if God destroyed a city because of lack of love for one another.
It is true that God hates sin but a lot of self acclaimed "saved" christians are angry christians, prideful christians who are less compassionate about others who do not practice what they do. I know this because even within christianity, we wage the war of who's doing the right and who isn't doctrinally. An example would be Catholicism and Protestantism. The Church is divided, has been divided and maybe only the coming of Christ can reunite the Church. 
I know one thing is sure though: he who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the church! I think we sometimes forget that God sees and has plans for every single one of his creation, either they practice homosexuality or not.


I am personally not an everything and anything goes type, but I sure wish we would treat sin as what it is instead of pointing fingers as if we were born pure. Sin is disobedience to God, and guess what?? The first couple, Adam and Eve chose that, hence baptizing humanity into sin. Every single man and woman born into this world is a sinner, not by choice but by birthright. 
If you are choosing in your heart not to love right now, know for sure that it is not the way of Christ and it is deliberate disobedience and an act of sin. Many things we do daily are sinful but God's mercy covers us. We must in turn show mercy to all of God's creation. Not just to those who look like us, but to all, including our enemies.
It might be shocking that when Jesus shall come, perhaps some of his creations that practice the sin of  homosexuality might know Him better than some heterosexuals (just mere thoughts, not a certainty).  It is not by our standards at all. He does the sifting and picking. This is not to mean that I am siding with sin, but sin is sin! Sin is pure disobedience to God's word.
Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.

I learned an important lesson from my pastor recently about sensitivity and this might help someone out there."You are lying" is different from "You are a liar." Therefore you are sinning is different from you are a sinner. 

Then the Lord said, “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know.”

As Christians how do we pass the message across without hurting other people's (the one practicing sin) feelings? I think it is true that sometimes, we often do care about the message and forget the people. The people are what matters, even while we maintain the gospel truth. Our standards should be purely lived by example rather than expressing angry words to people who don't understand why they should even leave their current lifestyles and convert to yours. The soul of man, saved, is the heartbeat of Christ. That is why He volunteered himself as a sacrifice to reconcile us to God. So, yea everyone matters to God, regardless of what you think of them and their sins.
I said in my first blog of the year, that if the truth is not said in love to the receiver, then it's a waste of time and energy. We are currently in a sensitive world and a world that now requires a visual character driven Christian. I worry that the message of Grace isn't taught to the average Christian. I think the one person worthy to preach doom upon sinners is Jesus Christ and yet He didn't (He did denounce cites that were unresponsive to His outcry of repentance, Matthew 11:20-24). 


Jesus' instruction was not to judge but to make disciples of every nation. The truth is the church has stopped making disciples and is focused on populating edifices in order to stay running and relevant. If we were busy making disciples, we would shine the light of Christ in unity of heart without breaking. I fear that our liberality has made it almost impossible to live a lifestyle worthy of emulation, so much so, that an average liberal Christian is no different than one without Christ. We are in an era where Grace is less accepted and self is more projected.

People hold on to careless words spoken, honest mistakes made without mercy. This is the way of the world but not the way that Christ taught his disciples. 
The Lord's teaching will not change for the liberal Christian. Let our liberation also come with recognizing the supremacy and authority of Christ over the Church.



"20 Then Jesus began to denounce the towns in which most of his miracles had been performed, because they did not repent. 21 “Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes.22 But I tell you, it will be more bearable for Tyre and Sidon on the day of judgment than for you. 23 And you, Capernaum, will you be lifted to the heavens? No, you will go down to Hades. For if the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Sodom, it would have remained to this day. 24 But I tell you that it will be more bearable for Sodom on the day of judgment than for you.”



Live, Love, Laugh
Kaylove.




References
https://knowingthetime.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/grace-smaller.jpg
http://vancouversun.com/news/staff-blogs/liberal-christianity-ten-things-worth-knowing-about-this-third-way




Wednesday, January 11, 2017

We Celebrate Women(WCW): KATHERINE JOHNSON


I look forward to a time when a woman wouldn't have to do twice the work in order to stand confidently where men do. 
It is sad that women must go through so many prejudices. However, here is an exceptional woman, Katherine Johnson who chose to stand and fight her way through, despite such prejudices. Katherine Johnson was a physicist and mathematician who was hired by NASA (NACA at the time), back in the 1960s. Her story is that of hope in a "Man's World."

Have you been discriminated against or abused because of your race/gender? 
Well, I believe that every woman is special in her realm and must be allowed to shine and be respected for her expertise!!!
As women, we can do anything and I truly mean anything we fix our minds to achieve. Like Katherine, most of you reading will soon discover why I connect with this awesome woman. 

"In 1938, Johnson became the first African-American woman to desegregate the graduate school at West Virginia University in Morgantown, Monongalia County, West Virginia. She was one of three African-American students, and the only female, selected to integrate the graduate school after the United States Supreme Court ruling." 

Katherine grew up in a time where segregation was the blatant order and a designated setback for a person of color, let alone a woman. She had graduated Summa Cum Laude in 1937, at age 18 and went ahead to achieve desegregation in West Virginia University the following year. What an achievement at such a young age!
Now, you might be thinking as a woman right where you are: "How or where do I begin?"
Let me break the ice by telling you how long it took Katherine to land the dream job that would cause the world to celebrate her eventually. The opportunity did not arrive until 1953. Do the math. 16 solid years. 

I mean one would expect in our generation that such a genius brain should get a job of her choosing, but No, she was faced with the obstacle of harsh racial prejudice in her generation. Can you imagine a person with such credentials subjected to teaching at a small grade school? God bless our teachers, this is not to mean that there are people who do not choose their career paths in teaching, but my point is, this wasn't Katherine's path. And so she wanted more.
She didn't know how many years she had to teach but she did it consistently until her breakthrough came.
In our generation, we are lucky to have had many women fight for us. We definitely still fight the solemn battles of racial and gender prejudices, but I tell you the sky is the limit. Please do not give up your dreams for anyone, ever.



I also studied Physics and though I didn't have to face racial challenges, there were many times I could have quit, being a single parent. It was very difficult and many times I must have quit mentally but I managed to pull through for many reasons. I refused to accept failure and I had to not give up. My family, professors, advisors, friends and most especially the Grace of God did a lot for me and I couldn't have been successful without them. I mean I remember going through the whole process and how determined I was to graduate even after losing my dad that very year I was to graduate. In the end, I also ended up being the only female physicist in my set. 
My point is you need the right people, resources and all you can get to cheer you on. Even Katherine had mentors who connected her to the right resources to succeed.
Perhaps, you are doing something presently that you don't like or are looking to change career path, I tell you woman, you can do it!

I honestly don't know what your set back might be. Yours might not even be close to mine or Katherine's or might be bigger than both, but the fact remains that we are women and we deserve a chance to dream big and achieve those dreams in this world.
You, a woman, you are powerful and can achieve anything you put your mind to do. Do not be discouraged by how long it might take. Just start! Just take a step! Just do it! Remember how patiently our WCW waited 16 years to finally land her dream job despite her credentials. 
2017 is only just beginning!

If you want to lose or add weight this year, take a step.
If you want to go to school, you have to take a step to register.
That PhD you've been eyeing/dreading is not impossible.
If it's love and your heart had been broken one, two, many times, just try again.
If Katherine could bypass all the prejudices to become a pioneer for all women, then my lady you can and you will.
You also have a Katherine in you! Rise up to the task and achieve it.
Your boss is a male and undermines your work, don't worry about it. Be assertive and do your work with pride because you are a woman!
Just picture me cheering you on from here. Woman, you have a fan and I am telling you, you are just fine. You are enough and woman enough.




Watch this video about Katherine's life achievement and award.


Lastly, the fun part: take your girlfriends out to watch "Hidden Figures" in the theaters 1.13.17. My woman Taraji P. Henson plays Katherine Johnson along with two other beautiful actresses, Octavia Spencer and Janelle Monàe. I personally can't wait to see this movie as it tells the untold story of black female achievers, especially our WCW for today.





Live, Love, Laugh.
Kaylove.






References 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katherine_Johnson 
https://www.nasa.gov/feature/katherine-johnson-the-girl-who-loved-to-count
http://sdvoice.info/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/hidden-figures-750x315_orig.png

Saturday, January 7, 2017

WHO IS YOUR WCW??



Can you tell how ecstatic I am to be blogging again after a whole year break!!!
Well, Kaylove is back, now happily married and a mother for the second time, which summarizes the whole of my 2016!

Welcome to 2017 Readers!!!
I have missed blogging and I am already in full work mode in this first week of the year. I am ready to share heart to heart insights with you as we journey into the unknown treasures of 2017 and beyond if the Lord tarries.

Disclaimer: This is not about anyone in particular but a strong awareness in my heart.
This is not to suggest that I am a master at this but to redirect in love as I am also learning myself.

I have been burdened to address some issues that are currently penetrating, in fact invading the hearts of believers.
While I am in no right to point this out, I have been pressed without a doubt that this is necessary. This can never be overemphasized and so must be said in love.
I have learned that even the truth, if not said or addressed in love, is a waste of time and energy which now brings me to the tone of this message.
Sooooo, let's chat about the selfie. 🤳

Our generation has been sold a big fat lie! By who? Is it necessary to make important that which is not? No. However, this lie cannot continue to linger and maybe this loving note will prod someone back to love.
The lie that you alone are your own WCW and no one else.
The lie that you can only love yourself by posting excessive pictures to celebrate you.
The lie that everyone else is envious of what you have, when in fact you are abhorring insecurities.

Love:
• is not love without another person.
• God is love, love is an action and He had to show us love by giving it to us.

The opposite of love therefore is selfishness, not hate.
Selfishness:
• worships self and refuses to think about or prefer another person.

Now, something is spreading rapidly and thanks to social media for making it ambiguous. I have found that there are many unhealthy hearts hiding under the guise of excessive "self-love."
My theory:
* One must suffer from the depression of an unsatisfactory lifestyle due to envying another or from the pressures of measuring up to another's standards, but is somehow limited and now hides under the pretense of a self made love.
* Psychologically true that a person must have suffered a great deal of pain by not loving oneself enough and now has found self confidence in love.

I am not here to point at anyone but to have us think deeply about what kind of world we're trying to build. I might be wrong but right now, we are a successful, narcissistic, self-loving, self-obsessed world.

My call is to us all, to please shine the light of Christ through love. We have to intentionally show love, even to our enemies. I'm not also saying force ourselves on people, but loving them by praying for them, honoring them, respecting their views and giving them the benefit of doubt always. Matthew 5:43-48.

I am not that old but I look back to years ago when there was no forum to post a quick selfie🤳 or to be my own "WCW." We had to rejoice with one another, celebrate one another genuinely without insecurities knowing that yours will also come with time.

Make no mistake though, the laws that anchor this world are sure. If you celebrate others, others will celebrate you. If you celebrate yourself only and love yourself only, I don't even need to paint a picture.



The love of self alone is dangerous! Media makes it easy to paint a picture and maybe there are perks to it like: it is easy to know who likes you and who doesn't by the like button when you post a pic 😂. That's silly 😜. What if the person doesn't even check their page and you run with a lie?? I mean what then??

I fear for our children 😭. Even some adults are muzzled up inside. Get your picture out there and if no one likes it, you think something is wrong with you. Why oh why??
I had to share with my husband that I am now forced to check my own motive before posting because of our new awareness. I think I liked it better when Facebook had no like buttons, it made it easier for some of us who love the art of capturing image with time. You look at those images in your album and you have something to share with your grandchildren. No pressure at all. I also love that people get to celebrate me and I can do the same genuinely.

Excessive self-love is a curse from God. It usually happens when a generation refuses to acknowledge God and in turn they are given to excessive love of self. Romans 1:21-32; Proverbs 18:12.
The sad part is what we are seeing is merely a symptom and a sign of what is degenerating inwardly..
I am now scared that just as President elect Trump's victory shook the world and took many believers unawares, the coming of Christ will shake the world unawares. Many would be lost, loving self, catering to self and actively disobeying God's command to love Him and others as our self. The self should be the last one in the order, not first.

Have you been caught up in the lie or perhaps you are not intentionally loving others? It is time to take the bull by the horn in 2017. What I do now is what I call the intentional law of loving others despite themselves. If we were to take into account people's demeanor, we would never love outside of ourselves and it is dangerous for any of God's people in any generation.

Are you loving God enough?
Are you loving others enough?
Most people already love themselves and indeed there are exceptions, but we oft don't even know how to do it without God's direction. When we go against Him, it is the first act of self destruction instead of "self-love."

Lastly, love is for mature hearts. "When I was a child I spoke like a child and perhaps even loved myself like a child, but when I became a man(mature), I put away childish things-excerpts from 1Corinthians 13:11."
As people we must become mature
As a church we must grow into maturity, then and only then can we become true laborers with God, bringing His good news to the lost. How can we bear good news when the blind leads the blind. We are too worried about the self.

When next you're about to take a quick selfie 🤳, let it ring out loud! Are you loving others enough as yourself??
Ok, let's now practice...
Who is your WCW??

#BeWise #BeMature #BeDeliberate #CelebrateAnotherToday

Living, Loving and Laughing
❤️❤️❤️
KayLove.