Wednesday, February 22, 2017

THE WOMAN OF WISDOM

I read through an article and a scripture yesterday that solidified what I will be writing today. This one is to every woman, young and old, born and hopefully unborn. 
I honestly hate sounding like a broken record, but there is efficacy in repetition of solid words. It transforms, heals and channels growth in an individual.

I have seen people try to encourage others not to get carried away by looking at the glamor that others post on social media. Statements like they don't post their fights and ugly moments in their marriages, only the positive ones. 
Hmmn.. let's take a look at it this way for a second.
Life is full of moments, beautiful, ugly, light and dark moments. It is true that fewer ugly and darker moments are ever shared or talked about, but also because such moments are shortened either by a divorce eventually or someone chooses to cover in love, so you see they never actually last a life time. What we choose to do with them makes the difference.

So..... In your dark moments what do you do?
Do you complain to someone else?
Do you sulk about it?
Do you keep it to yourself ?
Do you become bitter or better from it?
Do you pray and surround your heart with truth and wisdom?

Can I just say, dark moments are inevitable! Are you ready and prepared for them is the question???





For married women and those who aspire to one day get married, you need know the importance of praying for wisdom. Winning the battle effectively on your knees; as prayer the most powerful resource on the planet. The moment you chose to get married, you took on the responsibility to build A Monument! You are responsible from the foundation to the lintel. If you're building a skyscraper, you already know how much time and resources it will cost you.

“EVERY WISE woman builds her house, but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands.”
Proverbs 14:1 

In my marriage, I have had to constantly stoop and learn to align myself into my role as a wife to my husband. This is the most important part of marriage. I can be a boss or a CEO anywhere else but in my marriage, someone else is my boss and CEO.

A typical example recently was us deciding how to care our kids. My hubby and I got into an argument because I chose my way of pacifying our son over allowing him to be a father in that moment. You might smile and say that's not an issue, but it was our issue and little issues will become mighty issues if you don't get on your knees quickly and humble yourself.
I was wondering how this little issue had turned my life upside down in a quick moment. As I prayed, I realized the power was in my hand yet again to structure and build, to be better instead of allowing my ego, my emotions and my way to win. By allowing myself to be bitter and pulling down my house with my own hands. 

A wise woman:
Chooses love; love covers a multitude of offense ❤️
Chooses to pray for her husband 🙏🏾
Chooses her words carefully 🤔
Chooses to apologize even when she's right 👏🏾
Chooses her hubby as her bestie 👫
Chooses to be better than bitter 😡
Chooses to be honest when she makes a mistake 🤥
Chooses to make time for her husband over the children 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦

The list goes on and on, but I thrive in my marriage to continue to build and be happy. I refuse to be an unhappy woman. 

Marriage is not for everyone, so for those who will never get married, those who aren't married yet and those who don't look forward to it, here's my two cents also. Wisdom is profitable. It keeps you grounded. It will help you build a life worthy of emulation. CEO or COO! Work hard at being wise. It will draw light to everything you set your heart to do.

Wisdom only comes from God though. You ask and receive. It does not come by age or experience at all. If that were the case, many women would learn wisdom at the very first bad experience they had. Be not only wise, be humble.  

A wise woman is a humble woman!
A wise woman knows the difference between submission and subjugation. 
A wise woman knows that love goes around and comes around eventually!

Live, Love, Laugh

Kemi Gwan.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

WE CELEBRATE THE SINGLE WOMAN...


The journey of singleness is one worth celebrating. 
We celebrate love, all the lovers out there, especially the single lovers out there hoping to spend the rest of their lives with a special person of their choice.

The majority of married folks never truly admit how they get stuck in between, due to inconsistency in their marriage; which often leaves them wishing for something more- when in fact, the power lies within them to bring back the fresh wine. While the goal of today's blog is not to poke at married folks, it is something for the single woman to think about. 
If you are actively wishing to be married, here's a juicy nugget for you to chew on real quick.
Many (especially mothers) have told you, perhaps pressured you to find the ONE. Society doesn't make it any easier. Social media is your number one NEMESIS and honestly it's not going away any time soon. Soooooooooo....

Who is the ONE? 😊😜😉💋
The ONE that God chooses?
The ONE that checks 90% off your list?
The ONE that's available?
The ONE you chose?

However way The ONE happens, I think it is important for you to know that you are responsible for the consistency of your love life, the romance and butterflies and whatever else you crave for after that GRAND Wedding. 
Not the ONE
YOU actually!

Two years ago, I was single and it was so easy to have married anyone, just any guy. I once fell for that crap. Where I actually thought marriage could work with just anyone. 
Nah! It doesn't. 
No one will change for you. That's a Big Fat Lie. In fact what you see, is the best you'll be seeing for a while until personal growth kicks in for you both. Which could be NEVER
So marriage is a big leap of faith you know.

Being single is FREEDOM to be your own boss but no access to guaranteed companionship. Being married however is having legal access to a companion but no freedom to be your own boss. Hmmn... sorta, so make your choices wisely.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. You just have to figure out which matters to you the most. 
I will tell you straight up about myself. 

Even after going through a devastating experience, I was still a sucker for love 🙈. Except, I became wiser and knew what marriage should feel like and what marriage truly is about. It's not about me, not about the man, but about the Kingdom of God. THAT changed my life and prepared me for my BOAZ and how to position myself as his wife.

Why not take your time to build a stamina for consistency while you are single. Many women are built to be "all over the place,"- multitask. With your love life however, you have to be single eyed and consistent. I am not just speaking of growth, but consistent and unwavering faithfulness to keep a marriage. 
Often, faithfulness may seem like a small thing but it is what keeps a marriage no matter the ups and downs that come. 

This morning during our devotion, we talked about how faithfulness is the very reason God is God and unmovable in His ways. Hubby illustrated to us to imagine if the Sun was late to rise one morning, it will change the ocean tides and hence shift the world and BAM! CHAOS!

I guess, I have painted a picture enough for you to see how a simple consistent kiss in the morning could keep a marriage functioning. 
Think about the little things you do to keep yourself functioning in purpose, in your career, in life generally right NOW. You will need all of that and more to maintain and build the kind of marriage you want.

So today we celebrate your strength against all odds, we celebrate your unwavering heart against all pressures. We celebrate your choice to WAIT and so should everyone in your life who genuinely cares about you. We celebrate where you are in your personal growth. We celebrate your patience in waiting for the ONE

Live, Love, Laugh


Kemi Gwan.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

WE CELEBRATE THE WOMAN WITH INSECURITIES....



Hello readers,
It's been one load of a week since the last time (last Wednesday). So much has happened from Nation to Nation, Family to Family.
It is nice to know that regardless of the panic and fear that's attempting to grip our hearts, we still found a way to celebrate the Super Bowl. On that note, a big congrats to the New England Patriots on their victory this past Sunday. That was very phenomenal.
You know sometimes like the Pats this past Sunday, you start out very slow and in fact, it might seem you are a loser but in the end, there are many factors that push you to the win.

So, today I just do not intend to celebrate the Patriots but to celebrate every woman in the world with insecurities. Notice, I did not tag any woman "insecure." We are celebrating every woman who is actively aware of her self doubt and instability in certain areas but chooses to do something about it. What we do about our insecurities is what makes us different and successful.

Don't just sulk or grumble about your life. It is worth celebrating when you first actively celebrate it.

I remember about four years ago when I was admitted for an internship at The University of Nevada Reno, in the Physics department. There was a facility, The Nevada Terawatt Facility ran by these group of smart Physicists who dedicated their lives and time to research. I was learning about Plasma and Laser Physics. Girl, did I feel out of place for a minute. Not only was I the only black person visible but also the only black female. I suddenly felt the need to prove myself and to show that I was not part of the status quo. In practicality, all that was unnecessary but you'll be surprised how much we struggle with being who we are. 
God was especially good to me during these trying days. I was tasked with building a camera that eventually captured the science in that facility. Something that had not been done in ten years. It was a celebrated feat.

Insecurities can be fed by any number of factors. Some examples are:

  • The feeling of inadequacy
  • In my case, the feeling of not belonging 
  • The feeling of not being good enough or measuring up
  • The feeling of rejection
Notice how it's all a feeling and not a definitive of who we truly are. Which means we are in control of how we choose to channel all these feelings. The Patriots were also feeling something on that Football field. They could have chosen to accept the feeling of failure but they chose to soar above it.

Let your confidence find courage to drown your insecurities.

Look all around you, celebrities and people you look up to are not without flaws or feelings of insecurity, they just refuse to be defined by them. In fact, they receive the most criticism because they usually don't have the luxury of hiding like most people do. It should tell you something when you see them rise above criticisms. That's the attitude of a winner.
Beyond that is a woman who chooses to be happy in spite of her insecurities. You can be famous and bitter. That is not what we are here to celebrate. We are celebrating well grounded women, who recognize their flaws, their insecurities but choose to be winners by being happy with their progress to a place of victory.




Perhaps, a woman like that pops into your mind or you are a woman like that, share this article with them. Celebrate them for standing despite it all. Celebrate their happiness instead of envying them. Deliberately go out of your way to write a woman of such a lovely note, buy them flowers or gifts, take them out for lunch or dinner to learn one or two things about their struggles. You'll be shocked to find out that they're just as human as you are. You too can choose to identify your insecurities and actively do something about it. That is the attitude of a winner. Don't just sulk or grumble about your life, it is worth celebrating when you first actively celebrate it. Let your confidence find courage to drown your insecurities.

Live, Love, Laugh
Kaylove.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

WE CELEBRATE THE WOMAN OF PURPOSE!


Happy New February readers!!! It is a brand new month in a brand new 2017, and I am already counting my blessings. 😇

There is tremendous power in purpose. By the time we have understanding, a talent moves from an ordinary acquisition to a mighty weapon of purpose.

Our WCW today goes to a special woman; "Aunty Seun," who was planted as a neighbor many years ago. My parents were busy working class parents and seldom had time for activities except for when it was planned around the holidays. 

Our church at the time usually had monthly vigils and it was a big deal. I remember Aunty Seun as I called her back then, who sang so powerfully in the choir suddenly developed an interest in mentoring and grooming me and my neighbors who she lived with. 
She invested time in teaching us songs and we all in turn would go boldly to dazzle the church with our innocence. 

Many years later, I realize that she had impacted my talent and guided it into a weapon of purpose. She was a young teenage girl, but she had done her part. She had given me what my parents could not, at the time.
"Be a woman of purpose, not a busybody"
Do you know that where you think your parents fall short, if you are patient enough, your eyes would see that God is powerful enough to make up for shortcomings. This is a message for the woman or man who perhaps is downcast and discouraged, thinking their life's outcome could have been different if they had a perfect childhood. Let me announce to you, that even your mess is a story written by God for purpose.

As a woman, it is important to equip yourself with tools that can help your purpose in life
  • Pray without ceasing, even about what you don't understand.
  • Positive mentors like Aunty Seun who spot greatness and are not intimidated.
  • Persistence even through failure. Most of the time, what we consider failure is delayed success. You might just be developing strength of character while you try again.

As women, we often struggle to be good at one thing or to be a master at one thing. A man would master one craft because of how he was made by God but a woman most of the time, would almost want to be an over achiever by being a master of many. 

Over the years, I have learned to get better at one thing and add few crafts along the way. This in itself is the understanding of purpose. As a child I was many things: an athlete, a dancer, a drummer, an artist, a writer, a singer, a debater and so on. I struggled for many years trying to settle with just one craft and master it. I eventually learned the secret of purpose while some of those fell away on their own. 

The truth is you can be whatever you want to be. 
Question is are you where you are supposed to be? Are you doing what you were created for? Are you just being a busy body or trying to make ends meet? Doing too many things, is not a sign of success, in fact it is a sign of imbalance and confusion. 

"Nothing can stop A Woman of Purpose, Absolutely Nothing!"
We have been created for a purpose and until we know it, every other thing is just a bypassing activity. You might say but I can do this and I have the strength to do many. I am not against that. You must also understand that our minds function best when we chase one thing per time with our might. Other things like your career, profession would always be tools to garnish purpose but you must never let them choke purpose out of you. You must never allow yourself be overwhelmed to the point of abandoning your purpose.
In fact, you will only find fulfillment in life if you are actively pursuing purpose and not sidetracked by other things.

I Celebrate Aunty Seun wherever she is today. Thank you for watering the best of them all. Thank you for all that time, teaching about singing with passion. All that has taught me to never do things without excelling at them.
You sang with power and purpose and though I have not set eyes on you in years, I celebrate you today.

I want you to know today that nothing can stop a woman of purpose, absolutely nothing!

Live, Love, Laugh

Kay love.